How to Convince Your Parents it's Time to Move
Have mom or dad been struggling to get around the home they’ve lived in for years? Or, are they getting confused or overwhelmed taking care of themselves or each other? If so, it may be time to have the talk.
Confronting your parents on a possible move to independent or assisted living, or even nursing care if the situation calls for it, can be a touchy business. Many aging parents associate such communities with the infamous title of “the home.” It bears a strong negative connotation, especially since many homes didn’t always have the best standards for care. Mom or dad doesn’t want to be just a number, and they certainly don’t want to lose their independence.
The good news is that aging care has drastically altered and improved over the years. Many communities are moving away from the old ways and putting their care, and a welcoming, home-
A good way to begin the conversation is to observe the specific situation and see it from mom or dad’s point of view. Many older parents hold fast to their pride and don’t see that they need help since they’ve managed for so long on their own. It’s even more complicated if age-
As soon as possible, begin asking questions and see where they see themselves headed. Early intervention or planning can save a lot of heartache later. Asking, “Where do you see yourself in a few years?” or “are you planning on aging in place?” is good way to start.
Patience is key to getting the information you need from them, and to figuring out a solution that is safe, cost-
If you’re having problems gaining the necessary information and developing a rapport, consider bringing in a third-
Once they seem more open to the idea of moving, it’s a good idea to get them inside a potential home, if possible. A good community will offer a free tour of their facilities, so your parents can see what their new home would look like, and feel less intimidated.
If you don’t have much knowledge or experience with senior living options, it’s best to meet with a professional, like a senior housing placement specialist. CarePatrol is one of many organizations that offer free senior housing placement. They meet with you or your loved one, determine their needs and price range, and suggest potential matches. They will also accompany you on tours, explain the communities’ features and services, and help you ask the right questions. It’s especially helpful to have them weed out any particularly bad matches that don’t fit your price range or needs, saving you a lot of time and frustration.
CarePatrol professionals can also help convince your loved one that moving can be a good thing, by explaining the many benefits these communities provide. For example, not being responsible for cooking, cleaning and laundry, frees up a lot of time to meet new friends, exercise regularly, play games and try new hobbies. Both medical and therapeutic help is available if they need it, and many doctors make “house calls” to the communities.
Unless the situation is dire, don’t be pushy when broaching this subject. It’s best to get your parent to come to this realization themselves. Even with all the best features in the world, a senior community can feel like a prison for an unwilling resident. Consider asking friends or acquaintances for their positive testimonials and experiences with senior communities, and see if the potential matches allow you to bring items from home to personalize living quarters. The best conversations with your aging parents involve patience, empathy and kindness.
This information is provided by CarePatrol, a national senior housing placement agency. If you or your loved ones needs to find a new home, consider talking to a CarePatrol housing placement specialist. They will sit down with you, assess your needs and financial situation, and offer the best options they can find. They are also available for tours and guidance during your final search.