Guilt is a common emotion that Wikipedia calls “a cognitive experience that a person has when they compromise their own standards or have violated a moral code they were taught”. Psychologists say we start feeling it before age 5, and it is nearly always concerning other people. Understanding its origin will help you deal with situations where it raises its head inappropriately.
As older family members age the time for assisted living is rarely planned for. The assumption is it won’t be needed and if it is, other family members will step in as caregivers. In some families there are even promises made that placement will not happen, often made during times of great health. Physical frailty or cognitive decline eventually brings up the potential for discussion.
Early turmoil comes while making the decision that it is time for placement. Despite family desire to care for a loved one at home and simultaneously remain in the workplace and maintain all other commitments, it becomes overwhelming. Physician or clerical advice that it is time may ring true mentally but emotionally the guilt can get mixed with anxiety and even fear.
Acknowledging and expressing those emotions head-on is the best way to deal with guilt. If you don’t have trusted confidants to bounce things off, a business exists that allows just that. You can contact a Life Guide at https://www.lifeguides.com/carepatrol Lifeguides partnership with CarePatrol will match you up with a guide who has been through the process you are facing. CarePatrol provides for two free sessions and you’ll feel better. It will also be easier to take action after talking through it.
Even after working with a CarePatrol placement professional to find the safe and appropriate senior living community for your family, the guilt may not fade away nearly as fast as you would prefer. Your LifeGuide will still be at the other end of the phone to share your feelings with in a confidential and stress reducing way. Guilt, like all negative emotions, can be dealt with. Having a professional team on your side helps.